1. If you sleep with a guy the first time you meet him (date, bar), then he won’t want to actually date you.
Exception: He starts to hang out with you more and decides you’re really cool and/or the sex was really amazing.
And for the record I know many relationships that started out this way…it can happen.
2. A hook up buddy situation is only beneficial for the guy. It’s usually him being horny and calling the girl. He has to intiate, knowing she will respond in a positive way.
Exception: The girl initiates with a hit or miss outlook. The guy then still has the upper hand.
3. Someone will always develop feelings whenever casual sex is involved.
Exception: Not if one of the people (guy or girl) has decided from the beginning that the other person wasn’t someone they wanted to date. However, see number 1 – feelings can change.
4. Sleeping over is a safety and/or laziness factor. If you’re really drunk or it’s really late, then it’s OK. Other times may be questionable, unless you’re really comfortable with each other or just don’t care.
Exception: If cuddling is involved, then it’s a little different.
5. If you really want to just hook up with someone, then you don’t play games.
Exception: Sometimes it’s fun to be a little flirty and mysterious, even if you know what the deal is.
…Are these true or false statements? Do they make men or women look worse? Discuss…
March 8, 2007 at 9:01 am
To part one I have a poll running at http://www.pulltheboys.co.uk/forum and the results are not at all what I expected. Sex on the first real date can result in a term relationship. Still the poll has only just begin so time for it to change
I still think women should keep their legs crossed for a few dates, unless the fella is me,lol
Martin
March 8, 2007 at 9:34 am
Sleeping over is always about laziness.
March 8, 2007 at 9:37 am
My last two serious relationships started with sex on the first date, but I’m easy.
March 8, 2007 at 12:03 pm
1. The first time you meet and the first time you go on a date may be entirely different. First encounter sex probably does not lead to relationships. However, first date with someone you may have a little history with could be different.
2. Shortsighted. FBs are a two way street. So, in a level playing field it would be a mutual decision for an encounter. But this leads into point 3.
3. Feelings do usually develop when casual sex is involved. Often times this leads to a position of power for one of the people involved. Therefore going back to point 2, the person who has no feelings usually dictates the scenario as the person with feelings is more likely to do as the other pleases.
4. Sleeping over on a hook up is bad form and sends a poor message, especially if it is supposed to be casual. But, if sleeping over happens how can you not cuddle. Sorry, I am a cuddler, but it is a given that if I am spending the night I care more than just a casual hook up. Otherwise, the only way someone stays at my place is if I have to drive them home and that just aint happening.
5. If you really want to then you should. If you need a little encouragement get drunk and have that clumsy thing most people call sex, then tell your friends about it.
March 9, 2007 at 1:03 am
Sex on the first date is bad…You cant develop anything that way.
March 9, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I think it is all dependent on where you are in life and what you think you want. However, I do think that hooking up in lieu of a quality relationship may seem like the easiest thing to do at the time, but it’s just putting a bandaid on a bigger issue of how one sees oneself in a real realtionship. Either we don’t think that we’re deserving of something real, or we claim not to have a care, like, we’re totally in control, when really, we’re just more comfortable with having sex with people we don’t like because it allows us to get the physical side of what we want without letting another person in. First date sex? Sometimes it works out, sometimes it won’t. I caution against it because it can often lead to a lot of first dates, and that’s just skank. And cuddling? Cuddling is sometimes more important than sex. Best to be clear and be confused.
March 11, 2007 at 8:37 am
Most serious relationships that I know of usually featured a minimum of a month with out full on sex (note Clintonian sex is excluded from this category). My experience was lots of less than 30 days, no marriage. One plus 30 days (which was hard for both of us), marriage.
Last thing, I never met a woman who after we had sex that didn’t want a relationship. A la Carrie in Sex in the City, there’s a switch, and once you cross that line it goes off.
Another big old $0.02 for you.
GL
March 22, 2007 at 10:02 am
I can’t STAND it when random hook-up guys sleep over. I seriously HATE it.
April 14, 2007 at 6:18 pm
I have to argue with Item #2. I’m aware of several situations of where the female part of the bargin had the sensation (albeit fleeting and false) that she was needed/important. Same, in fact, on the male end; there’s that inflated sense of importance that we get from a regular casual sex partner.
Smash: you mean to say that you don’t mind grinding genitals with someone, but you get that annoyed with someone sharing your bed afterwards? Methinks your priorities are a little mixed…
July 27, 2007 at 12:58 am
There are never too many or too few times to enjoy sex together. There’s only a problem if you don’t agree.