The other day I was having a conversation with a friend (female) about another friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend is a nice girl and I like her, she’s cooler than he is sometimes. But there’s nothing special about her. She’s not a girl that you meet and think wow she’s awesome, or that she’s particulary hot (she’s average-pretty) or even that she’s a really good match for him. So, we were speculating that there were just a few reasons that he was with her.
1. She’s latina and Republican (so is he)
2. She’s very sweet, polite, and tells him what he wants to hear
3. She’s got a good body – huge boobs and a nice ass (well, I guess every guy wants that haha)
4. She hangs on his arm, sort of like a pleasant decoration
Is that really all it takes? Is it that simple? I know lots of other guys that when it comes down to it, really only want a girl say – with dark hair, green eyes, and creamy skin…or a girl who doesn’t care that he loves to play video games or has an obsession with the Eagles. Another friend I know said he just wanted a girl into (or willing to put up with/go along with) his hobbies of cars and computers, and who was smarter than him. Maybe it all boils down to, quite simply just a girl who doesn’t give you grief and drive you crazy.
But, I know so many other guys (and girls) who have a seemingly endless laundry list of criteria for a mate. Some of the factors weigh in more than others, and some can get thrown out the window in place of something else. For some people, race and/or religion is a huge factor (as in dating someone the same as you), for others it’s an ideology (someone who is passionate about the same things you are – politics, the environment, working out, saving the world, or business). The only problem with having a list of wants, is that sometimes what you want isn’t really what you need. It can narrow your view and your acceptance of someone standing right in front of you – who may be perfect except maybe she has brown hair and you prefer blondes, or maybe he looks a bit too “earthy” but he is super smart and amazing in bed. Since they’re not necessarily on your radar, you miss out. Maybe that’s not a bad thing though, maybe all of our qualities and criterias for mates are a way of weeding through the masses.
In the end, perhaps there is no magic formula for love. When you know, you know. It doesn’t matter if he’s as tall as you want, or if she’s got pretty feet. To quote good ol’ LC from The Hills: “You know when you really love somebody. Love is not a maybe thing.”
